Temperament Corner May/June

Updated: Jun 17


Youth, Temperament, and Stress

By: Dr Phyllis J. Arno


Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

We are continuing the series titled Youth, Temperament and Stress. In this issue we will review some of the “Stress Triggers” in the Inclusion area of the Sanguine youth. We will specifically cover “stress” in the home and in school.


In review, the Inclusion area is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in the area of surface relationships, associations and socialization and intellectual energies.




Word Review of the Sanguine Youth in Inclusion

  • extrovert

  • cheerful

  • inspiring

  • upbeat

  • undisciplined

  • people-oriented

  • fast paced

  • friendly

  • sunshine

  • impulsive

  • hot-tempered

  • fear rejection

  • talkative

  • exaggerator

  • extravagant


STRESS TRIGGERS – HOME


1. INACTIVITY


Because they are people-oriented, this Sanguine in Inclusion youth becomes bored at home alone or with siblings. They usually want to go somewhere and do something. They become moody and depressed if they do not have someone with whom to talk or some place to go.


2. RESPONSIBILITY

They tend to not want to do their homework or chores, especially clean up their room. They like their room “messy” because it helps them to feel as if they are not alone. A messy room can be their comfort zone. The parents need to work out a reward system for them in order to motivate them to clean their room, i.e., a trip to the mall, a movie, etc.


3. DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY - PARENTS - DRUGS/ALCOHOL


Encourage the parents to seek help in getting off drugs and alcohol. If it is readily available, this youth will tend to turn to drugs and alcohol as a self-indulgence to relieve their stress—and because it sounds exciting and fun and everyone else is doing it! Remember:



CHILDREN HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD AT LISTENING TO THEIR ELDERS, BUT THEY HAVE NEVER FAILED TO IMITATE THEM!

James Baldwin


4. BLENDED OR SINGLE FAMILY - SIBLING RIVALRY


In a single-parent family, where one parent needs to be mom and dad, how can they prevent sibling rivalry? By giving the youth quality time—not necessarily quantity—and also by finding a person the parent can trust to be a mentor of this youth.


Enlighten the parents as to how there is a “pecking order” and that when families are blended, there may be two first borns, two last borns, etc., so each youth will be fighting to maintain their position. This can create problems such as anger, jealousy, resentment, etc., and can bring stress to the blended family. Since this youth is a Sanguine in Inclusion, their siblings may feel that this youth is “goofing off” and not helping to do their share of the work. Parents must remember to be open to listen to “all sides” of their disputes.



5. SEXUAL ABUSE - BABYSITTERS, SIBLINGS, RELATIVES, ETC.


Teach the parents to encourage the Sanguine in Inclusion youth to come to them with any and all problems they may be encountering. This should not be too difficult because Sanguines like to share; however, if they fear disapproval, they may not be as open to share. Also, the parents should know to whom they are entrusting their children.


Parents also need to look for signs such as irritability, overeating, cutting themselves, using drugs, drinking alcohol, etc.


Knowing this youth’s temperament is the key to know what questions to ask. You need to let them know that they can tell you anything and that you will not get upset and explode.



6. AVAILABILITY OF ADULT MOVIES, TELEVISION AND THE INTERNET


Teach the parents to always know what the Sanguine in Inclusion youth is watching on television and what movies they are seeing. They also need to be aware of what the youth is doing while on the computer. This Sanguine in Inclusion youth needs boundaries. Again, they are usually willing to tell you what they are watching and what they are doing on the Internet.




Parents Need to Become Cyber Savvy!

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL


  1. Learn about parental controls and filtering software.

  2. You can use search engines such as safesearchkids.com

  3. Teach your kids to never give out their telephone number or address online.


MIDDLE SCHOOL


  1. Keep the Internet account in your name to control passwords and filtering.

  2. Check your children’s Internet browsing history. Allow them to email and instant-message only people they know. Randomly check their emails and “buddy lists.”

  3. If your children participate in chats, help them pick screen names that don’t reveal personal information.

  4. Take cyber-bullying seriously. If someone posts threatening or dangerous comments about your child, report it to the police and your service provider.

  5. House rule: No downloading without your permission. You can set permissions on smartphones to have time limits on certain apps as well as prevent any downloads from happening without a password.


Apple iPhone Parental Controls


Samsung Galaxy Parental Controls