top of page

Temperament Corner March/April

ARE YOU LIVING WITH FAITH OR LIVING IN FEAR?

By

Dr. Phyllis J. Arno




Faith is a fruit of the Spirit and available to all.


Love, Joy, Peace,

Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness,

FAITH, Meekness, Temperance

Galatians 5:22-23 KJV



Living with faith means that you are grounded on the solid rock-JESUS.


Living in fear means that you are NOT grounded on the solid rock.


Living in fear means that your house is built on the sand. 


The sand contains:


hatred                                       sadness                      retaliation

insecurity                                 frustration                  bitterness 

stress                                        unforgiveness            violence 

disbelief                                   unhappiness               hypocrisy

guilt                                         jealousy                      depression

anxiety                                    criticism                      murder

prejudice                                 drugs                           vengeance

anger                                       resentment                   alcohol



WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT FAITH


Hebrews 11:1:  Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.


Romans 10:17:  So, then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God

I Peter 1:7:  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and   glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.


I Timothy 6:12:   Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold of eternal life…


II Timothy 4:7: I have fought a good fight.  I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.


James 2:26:  For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.


WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT REWARDS OF FAITH


Power to become the sons of God.  See John 1:12


Power to do mighty works.  See John 14:12


Kept in perfect peace.  See Isaiah 26:3


Kept safe.  See Proverb 29:25


Having assurance of prayer answered.  See I John 5:14


Will not be confounded (confused).  See I Peter 2:6


WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT FEAR


There are good fears and bad.  The latter kind come from wrong believing and open the door to doubt and hinder the flow of God’ power.


The Greek word “deilia” is for a cowardly fear; not being able to face a problem, but rather, running from it.  


There is also the fear of people or things, based on perceptions and/or lies.


There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. See I John 4:18


I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from ALL my fears.  See Psalm 34:4


For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.  See II Timothy 1:7


Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God:  I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  See Isaiah 41:10


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil (fear of dying). See Psalm 23:4


See also Psalm 91 and Psalm 121.


PLEASE REMEMBER, FEAR CAN PARALYZE YOU SO THAT YOU CANNOT OPERATE IN FAITH.  IF FEAR IS IN CONTROL, IT WILL PUSH OUT FAITH.


LET’S LOOK AT SOME OF THE  FEARS OF A MELANCHOLY IN INCLUSION



Fear of Rejection.


They tend to fear rejection from people and will tend to reject them first. This is because they do not relate well to people and do not understand them. Since they tend to think a great deal, this fear of rejection may only be perceived. 


They must remember: They are the guardians of their mind and, as guardians, they need to continually submit their fears of rejection to Jesus.  If they do this, Jesus will alleviate their fears. When you feel secure in God’s love, you will not tend to fear rejection from people.




Fear of Socializing.  


They tend to have a fear of socializing because they do not relate well to people; they relate better to doing tasks. They tend to fear that people will make demands on them to interact and socialize —demands that will make them feel uncomfortable.


If they  are required to attend social functions, they would probably feel more comfortable working in the background doing tasks such as setting up sound equipment, building scenery, painting, cooking, etc.  They usually do not like to be questioned regarding their personal life as they prefer not to share their personal thoughts and feelings. 


Fear of Imperfection of Self and Others. 


They tend to fear that they do not measure up to their own ideals of perfection; therefore, no one else could ever see them as perfect either. In their own eyes they are never perfect enough. They need to learn that only Jesus is perfect and that they need to give themselves and others the freedom to be imperfect and to know that we are all works in progress. 


Since they cannot see perfection within themselves, they will then tend to look at others thinking that they are perfect; however,  they soon find out that others also have imperfections.  They may even begin to think to themselves: “Nobody is perfect and nobody can be perfect.”  Therefore, to compensate for their own feelings of imperfection or inadequacy they may become highly critical of others.




Fear of Death and Dying. 


They tend to fear death and dying.  They tend to have many questions such as: “Will I linger in pain and die a slow death?”  “Will I be able to take care of myself?”  “Who will take care of me if I can’t take care of myself?” “Will I have to leave my home and go to a health care center?”


The reason they have all of these questions in their mind is that they usually do not want to leave their home or even want to live with one of their children, and they do not want to live in a nursing home. This is because their home is their “castle,” their “safe haven” away from the rest of the world, and also, they do not want to have strangers take care of them.  They will not usually talk to people about this because they do not want them to know of their fears; but they will tend to think about all of this constantly. If they continually dwell on thoughts of death, and dying they may even think about committing suicide to escape these thoughts and to escape the inevitable leaving their home.  They need to learn that He is their true “safe haven” and they can always “run to Him.” 


Fear of Financial Security. 


They tend to be concerned about their finances.  Some tend to need to pay cash for everything; some tend to need to have a certain amount of money in their pocket; some tend to need to buy land as an investment; some will tend to clip coupons; and some will tend to only buy items that are on sale.  If they have investments, they will tend to watch the stock market reports daily.  If the market goes down, they tend to become fearful and become insecure. 


They may also tend to feel insecure with their job.  They may think:  “What will I do if I lose my job?” “How will I support myself and my family?” Dwelling on financial insecurities may even cause them to entertain suicidal thoughts to escape the pressure. They need to learn that God will supply all their needs.



LET’S LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS OF A MELANCHOLY IN CONTROL


Fear of the Unknown.


They tend to fear the unknown.  This is because they are afraid to make a decision until they have all the details because of their need to be responsible and reliable.




Fear of Being Controlled.


They fear being controlled.  This is because they do not want to tell others what to do and they do not want others to tell them what to do. If someone tries to control them they will rebel and perhaps do the exact opposite of what someone told them what to do.


Fear of Appearing Incompetent and Making Mistakes.


They fear that others will think that they are incompetent if they make mistakes; therefore, they will check, check and double check their work just to make sure that everything is perfect.


Fear of Failure.


They tend to fear that they have failed if someone criticizes their decisions.  When others critique their decisions they should probably ask if they could make some suggestions. Then the Melancholy in Control will tend to not feel as if  they have failed to make the right decisions.



Fear of being called Procrastinators.


They tend to fear that others will misunderstand their reasons for not making quick  decisions.  The reason it takes them longer is their need to be seen as responsible and reliable. However, because it takes longer for them to make a decision, those around them may feel that they are just procrastinating.


LET’S LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS OF A MELANCHOLY IN  AFFECTION


Fear Rejection.


They tend to feel that they never measure up to their loved ones and tend to feel inadequate because they do not respond the way their deep relationships expect them to.




Fear of Being Smothered or Suffocated by deep relationships.


They tend to fear that their deep relationships will suffocate or smother them with  too many hugs, snuggling, etc.


Fear of expressing their deep, tender feelings.


They are emotionally guarded and do not feel comfortable expressing their love and affection with hugs and touching.  They prefer doing tasks for their deep relationships.


Fear of Losing a Deep Relationship Due to Death.


They tend to fear the loss of a deep relation due to death because they only allow a  few people into their deep affection area. They can mourn the loss of a deep relationship for years.


Fear of Displaying Love and Affection in Public.


They are emotionally guarded. They have very deep tender feelings but they are not comfortable expressing them in public as they are very private and sensitive and they do not want others to know that they have these feelings.


Temperament needs of the Melancholy in Affection cannot be fully met without a deep, emotional closeness/relationship with God.


NOTE:  “A Melancholy is a Melancholy is a Melancholy.” In other words, a Melancholy needs quiet alone time to regenerate. It does not matter whether they are a Melancholy in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is:  THEY NEED QUIET ALONE TIME.

Please remember that these are temperament tendencies.  Their walk with the Lord, their birth order and their learned behavior will tend to affect their temperament.  


It is important to let them know these are tendencies and because of the effects of the above, some of the tendencies may not apply to them.


You need to explain to your counselees that there are no good or bad  temperaments.  God created  all temperaments with strengths, weaknesses and needs.


When you are disseminating the APS tendencies to your counselees, you need to start out by saying:  “People with your temperament tend to do….”. By doing this, you are letting them know that they are not the only ones with this temperament. 

9 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page